The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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