you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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