i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
