capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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