I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
