Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
