so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
