well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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