You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
