How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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