So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
