honey bunches of taint.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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