I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
