it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
