Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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