He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
