I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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