I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize