i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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