I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
