I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
