if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
