It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
