Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
