My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
