then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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