he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
