he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
