if i died would you start the facebook group?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
