no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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