so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
