Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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