I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
