I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
