Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
