Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
