Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
