Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what day is it and did you see me today?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
