I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
do herpes really smell.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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