so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
