I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
