Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
