tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
