I hate your face
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You can't motorboat a personality
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
