I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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