I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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