Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
