Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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