ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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