with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
