dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
