i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
