I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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